Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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