he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize