they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Enjoy the penises
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
