**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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