we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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