She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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