I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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