Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
