My friends, they love my intelligence
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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