I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
