I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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