i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
