So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
