I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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