WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
