so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
