im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
