Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
this beer tastes like vomit already
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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