I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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