i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
