shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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