Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
