is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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