she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
