I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
