I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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