I feel like abortions should bother me more
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
