so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
