I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
