what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
