I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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