I love black thongs
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
