Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
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love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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