I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
