I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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