just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
the night ended with taco bell and tears
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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