Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
