Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
