I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
