sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize