people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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