would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
