Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
