We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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