Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
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