Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
