Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
