How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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