Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
someone owes me an orgasm
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
