whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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