drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
