if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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