I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Randomize