I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
