I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
