Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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