is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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