I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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